Holy shit it’s been over a year since my last update, and I only remembered because I’m currently working on my boat. Yeah, owning (and maintaining) a used boat sucks ass. Especially if the previous owner is a – well I don’t know a good antonym for ‘mechanically inclined’ so I’ll just say – dipshit.

So when I put the boat away last season it was kind of in a rush because another project I’d been working on very suddenly became a priority, and rightly so because it ended up being my greatest creation so far:

On September 21, 2021 I became a father! My daughters’ name is Luna. Yes, after the Harry Potter character. Fight me lets fucking go

ANYWAY I took a month off work to get this ball rolling, and during this sleepless ‘vacation’ I was reminded I had to take my boat out of the water so the marina could pull their docks. So I packed away the boat in a hurry, taking the time only to winterize it properly. I had hoped to repair the long list of problems over the winter but, you know, parenthood. I’ll get to it in the spring before I put it back in the water.

So the critical thing to fix is the overheating problem. Last year I replaced sooo many bad parts. The starter was shot, the slave solenoid was gone, the wiring was completely fucked, the lights barely worked, most of the gauges didn’t work, but besides the starter thats all stuff that can wait. I won’t waste my time on the little things if it turns out the big thing can’t be fixed. I’ve checked and replaced pretty much everything related to cooling by now with no luck. Over the winter I made a very short list of what it could be, and it pointed me to the manifold. Which manifold you may ask, if you don’t know shit about boats? Intake manifold? Exhaust manifold? Cooling manifold? Thats a thing right? The answer is: yes. To all of the above.

The Manifold

My boat sports a 3.0L 4-cylinder Mercruiser engine. AKA GM. AKA OMC. AKA so fucking many other names and numbers its impossible to track down parts because nothing matches but everything is the same damn part. Anyway bolted to the side of this motor is one big fucker of a cast iron manifold that handles the intake, exhaust, and water. One fucking manifold with 3 completely separate passages through it. I’d hoped for a simple explanation like a bad gasket allowing the exhaust into the water, but that was wishful thinking, and also impossible because the manifold doesn’t pass water to the block so never reaches the gasket. NOPE, the culprit has to be a crack in the manifold. So I pull the shit apart and start testing.

Testing is easy. Put water in the water passage, and pressurize it a bit. If any water comes out through the intake or exhaust, bad manifold. Sure enough, I got a big squirt of water to the eye from the exhaust. The source of the overheating problem is found. The engine is cooled by raw water, so it’s not pressurized. Just pumped through the engine and then out through the manifold to keep it relatively cool and then out of the boat. The exhaust, however, exits the engine with some decent pressure. Gases make their way through the crack into the water passage, big bubble forms, water doesn’t pass very well, engine gets hot.

But how do I fix this? Welding cast iron is a shit show, even if I could reach that far into the passages. I called a parts dealer for a new manifold and after a couple days of phone tag involving no-longer-valid part numbers and supply issues, I’m told a new manifold would be close to $1000 and is backordered for maybe a year. Listen, this boat is going in the water this year one way or another. Extreme-temperature JB weld is $15 at Canadian Tire. Yes I know this shit won’t last forever, but it will get me some fishing time while I source a new manifold soooo.

The fix was relatively easy though. Since the exhaust passage is the higher-pressure side, I apply the goop there. Apply a vacuum pump to the water passage, and watch in amazement as the pressure starts to change as I apply the jb weld. Got it sucked into the crack really good! Applied a good amount and let it cure, then despite it now being able to hold vacuum, apply a lot more and let it cure again. Slap it on the boat after a couple days of good cure time, and voila, the engine runs at normal temperature again!

I took this opportunity to fix up everything that needed fixing up. Replaced the switch panel and ran all new wires. Made sure everything worked perfectly. Started the motor again just to make sure. Fired right up and purred like a diseased old alley cat, just the way a boat should. Dragged it to the marina to put it in the water aaaaaaaaaaaannnnd…

It wouldn’t start. Figures it starts just fine at my shop but once it touches the water it won’t fucking start. I checked everything. I checked everything again. It cranks no problem, pumps fuel like crazy, but it just wont fire up. That’s when I gave the spark plug wires a little wiggle for good measure, and the distributor cap crumbled like a potato chip.

Anyone want to buy a boat?

My next post will probably be about restoring a honda I left rot in a barn for 10 years